A 56-year-old federal government bureaucrat and his wife were found beaten to death in their ransacked home.
The couple who resided at the 600 block of C Street in Washington DC had not been seen since they left work Friday, prompting a call to the police from a concerned co-worker late Monday night, according to investigators.
Police entered the couple’s townhouse apartment at 1am Tuesday and found two severely bruised bodies in a bed. According to police Sergeant Tyczenski, the couple was beaten to death with a blunt object, but no weapon was found.
Although the home was in disarray, police were unable to say if anything was taken and the forensic team was unable to uncover any evidence linking a suspect to the murders. The names of the victims are being withheld pending notification of next of kin.
In a written statement, the police revealed that one of the victims worked at the National Labor Relations Board – a.k.a. NLRB, located at 1015 Half Street SE in Washington, DC.
A police spokesperson said that the African American male victim was accused of corruption and whistleblower retaliation and that his wife was Caucasian. Police also said both murders occurred Friday evening, and that the whistleblower who was retaliated against was not a suspect. The spokesperson said that the whistleblower, whose name was being withheld from the press, was over one thousand miles away at the time of the murders drinking margaritas with friends on a beach in southwest Florida. When questioned by the police, the whistleblower simply shouted, “Hooray,” in a celebratory tone upon hearing the news about the murders, and then he took a big drink of tequila from a flask.
The spokesperson told reporters, “Our theory of the crime is that these murders were the result of a break-in gone bad,” and added, “If anyone has any information about this crime, please call the MPD hotline.”
remember, this is fake news hahahahaha
Now go have fun!
Books by John Stuart Edwards
Capitol Hellway Media Company
A Free Media Company in Naples Florida