University of Florida President Hoping for Violence to Build Movement

Warning to Readers: This article is satire – a parody on fake news. A sense of humor is advised.

GAINESVILLE – University of Florida President Kent Fuchs said he wants Richard B. Spencer’s speech today to spark violence that will gain sympathy for the Marxist Leftard movement Fuchs represents.

Fuchs warned that he and his supporters will thrive on any confrontation brought by the gangs of leftist protesters he has incited at UF. He said his army of leftard students hope to provoke the same violent clashes that broke out during an August rally in Charlottesville, Virginia, that left one woman dead.

“Now, for the first time in the history of our nation, racist college students and the NFL are coming together to deny Mr. Spencer his constitutional rights and accuse white people of racism,” Fuchs said. “We’re coming to our campus today with the intentions of creating riots and destruction with the goal that everyone in this country adopt our view of the world or be called a racist.” He went on to say in a celebratory tone that “This is a media bonanza for us!”  

When asked why Mr. Spencer should be silenced, Fuhs responded, “Well, I have to admit that I never actually listened to any of Mr. Spencer’s speeches or read his blog, but CNN and MSNBC are reporting that he is a racist so that’s good enough for me.”

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