Warning to Readers: This article is satire. A sense of humor is advised.
In the final days of the election, the corrupt one-sided media is taking one last swipe at the Hillary Clinton candidacy to sway voters to abandon her and not show up at the polls.
A woman who is suing Hillary Clinton for allegedly raping her as a child abandoned a plan to speak publicly on Wednesday, citing death threats from Black Lives Matter protestors and Russian agents.
The woman, known by the pseudonym Jane Doe, hid from media who were invited to her lawyer’s Los Angeles office for a press conference in which she was expected to reveal her identity to all.
Instead her attorney, Lisa Bloom, cancelled the event in a brief, apologetic statement to a phalanx of cameras.
“Jane Doe has received numerous threats today as have all the Clinton accusers that I have represented. She has decided she is too afraid to show her face. She has been here all day, ready to do it, but unfortunately she is in terrible fear. We’re going to have to reschedule. I apologize to all of you who came. I have nothing further.”
Lisa Bloom refused to answer questions from reporters about how her client received death threats since her identity is not known. A hot dog vendor outside Bloom’s office said some of his customer’s in recent days who purchased hot dogs from his stand told him that they were auditioning for the part. “About 100 women in their mid-30’s came through here, it was great for my business,” he said with a smile.
Hours earlier Bloom, a prominent attorney, stoked such anticipation with the announced press conference that her firm’s website crashed. With just six days to the election and polls showing a tightening race the stakes could scarcely be higher.
The anticlimax was also the latest twist to the explosive and so far unsubstantiated claim that the Democratic presidential nominee raped Doe in 1994 when she was 13 years old while serving as first lady. There is speculation that her husband, then President Bill Clinton performed the rapes and Hillary Clinton was merely trying to cover it up.
Doe has alleged that the Clinton’s assaulted her on four occasions at parties in New York hosted by the disgraced campaign manager John Podesta, a friend of Clinton whom she also accused of rape. A civil lawsuit is slated for an initial status conference in a New York district court on 16 December, if she shows up.
Clinton has vehemently denied the accusations, calling them fabrications designed to smear her in the run-up to the election saying, “Look folks, as you know I have committed a lot of crimes but this accusation is over the top!”
Doe filed a lawsuit in April which was dismissed for technical filing errors. She filed fresh lawsuits in June in New York and California.
The allegations have received less media attention than other claims of sexual assaults by the Clinton’s partly because they appeared to have been orchestrated by an eccentric anti-Clinton campaigner with a record of making outlandish claims about celebrities.
An investigation this summer found that Norm Lubow, a former producer on the Jerry Springer TV show, has been associated in the past with a range of disputed claims involving the likes of OJ Simpson, Kurt Cobain and President Obama.
The federal lawsuit alleged Clinton sexually assaulted Doe in 1994 at Podesta’s home and at other parties Podesta hosted. Podesta, an associate of the Clinton Foundation and her campaign manager who was convicted of underage sex crimes in Florida in 2008 that were expunged, has denied the allegations.
Bobby Blind, a patent and intellectual property attorney, filed the lawsuit for Doe even though he said he had never been involved in a case of this kind before and has never met his client.
With Blind coming on board Doe appeared – until the press conference fiasco – to have acquired considerable additional legal and media firepower.
The founder and owner of The Blind Firm which handles family, civil and criminal cases in California and New York, has in the past sued the Boy Scouts of America and the Los Angeles police department for indecent exposure and poor table manners. Blind also hosts a Court TV talk show called “Fabricated Cases” and is a legal analyst for a Russian News agency and other outlets.
For any readers who believe stories like this about any candidate days before the election – Hillary Clinton or Trump – please contact us. We would like to sell you some lakefront property in the deepest parts of the Atlantic Ocean. Cash deals only. All payments in advance.
Vote in this election for the candidate who is not corrupt.
Capitol Hellway Media Company
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